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| L3G3nD 2007-10-22 ch 5,  | abuseUh yours a quite touching story. But frankly speaking the part which Mist summons the spirit of the dead warriors was a bit too fake, as in the strongest entity in both Asgard and Midgard loses to. Nonetheless that isn't much a bother. Maybe you could try by lengthening the story itself, as I find it sorta...inadequate. lol. Good work though. |
| Soul Decay 2007-08-10 ch 4, | abusepretty good, i will say though that you need to draw things out a bit more. like the trip to the sisters cave and to the serpent. just draw it out a bit more, descripe a bit of the tip. also, a gaint animal on land is called a "Behemoth" but one in the sea, is known as "Levithan" and by coinidence, Levithan is actuly a giant sea monster. =) ~Soul |
| Soul Decay 2007-08-10 ch 1, | abuseseems like a good start, try not to use the same word of phrase to close to itself though. for instance when you use the name Midgard try not to use it again for a while. just call it "the Land" or somthing. it makes it seem more open and free flowing. and as with the names. "Asgard" and "Midgard" i dont know weather they were from Norse mythology first or not but the word "asgard" is used in a T.v Prgrame Stargate SG-1 to refer to a highly advanced race of aliens and the word "Midgard" from a game called MU as one of the server worlds. not saying you stole them or anything, im just saying that they are used there as well. so far so good =) ~Soul |
| Sarrrawr 2007-02-05 ch 1, | abuseThis is really really good. The introduction to the character is great and i really want to know more, CONTINUE PLEASE! |