FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Midnight In Eden 2007-02-05 ch 1,  | abuseFirst off, I'd love for you not to do the traditional "capitals at the beginning of each line". It just doesn't mesh with your contemporary setting and language. I love "alabaster and awkward". I would like a little more punctuation though, it feels a bit too run-onesque in sections and commas might be better than hyphens. Last technical though: stanzas? Otherwise, Love. Love. Love. For some reason nearly all of this just works really easily. (repetition of that moment? unsure but otherwise Love). .:midnight:. |