First off, I'd love for you not to do the traditional "capitals at the beginning of each line". It just doesn't mesh with your contemporary setting and language.

I love "alabaster and awkward". I would like a little more punctuation though, it feels a bit too run-onesque in sections and commas might be better than hyphens. Last technical though: stanzas?

Otherwise, Love. Love. Love. For some reason nearly all of this just works really easily. (repetition of that moment? unsure but otherwise Love).

.:midnight:.