 MrBillyD 2007-05-07 . chapter 1I like the way you set up the plot. I hadn't expected that business about the Cuban Missle Crisis. I remember when that happened, while I was in the 12th Grade.
As for my idea about your plot line: I forget who said, "We stood eye to eye, and the other guy blinked." I think that your protagonist might do something, that keeps the other guy from blinking. |
 yoko haku 2007-04-25 . chapter 1Hey! This stuff is really good I really like it. I think it's funny at the begining when he's trying to mug that guy, and all he does just is staring at looking back at him... Ohh! Shivers down the spine. But, yeah and oh please update soon... |
 Mermaiddiver 2007-03-17 . chapter 1well, it was a bit rushed, but it is good. i doubt you will be able to give me five bucks, but i have a feeling this guy is supposed to be invollved in some major heist in russia, that guy in his other id is him, that woman who dissapeared really time traveled, maybe to the future, to help with her supposed wound, or to russia because she is also involved in the heist.(breathe)well, ttyl! |
 Christian Baker 2007-02-06 . chapter 1Well, this is good. The only suggestion I would give you is to either drop all of the ".." or change them to "...", as that is the correct way. However, most of them seem like they should be commas. but whatever. oh, and spell check this, it would do some good I think. anyway, despite that, it is good plotwise, and I want to see where it ends. |
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