...

this is the sound of me being blown away...

the brackets between each main line gives it an undertone of desperation- like you're trying to stay calm, but you're restless and desperate on the inside. Effective! Good job!

"You're just a hitch in my mind control" is a wonderful line - immensely descriptive, and oh-so right.

I see that you've left me plenty of poems to catch up on...I'll get to them all eventually.