 amillionlittlepieces 2007-02-24 . chapter 1"I want to shatter you." Your words thrash agaisnt the cage of society. |
 lackluster 2007-02-22 . chapter 1[sorry this is so impossibly late...i've been out of it lately.anyways:]
you use your words in such a way that every single one is never wasted and every single one is so imagery-infused and it really does induce the most amazing pictures in my mind.
it's just the most powerful thing. and you have that effect on me. |
 Her Wishing Well 2007-02-10 . chapter 1'your initials are the hardest to escape' - Amazing |
 bittersweet.season 2007-02-08 . chapter 1god, this is so real. i feel it. thats all there is. |
 nectar in a sieve 2007-02-07 . chapter 1** Cassi...
this was.. suberb.
i hope, that somewhere you realize the absolute power you have to..
jeezus
"we call this the revolution"
and its true.
we call this the revolution,
because it is Cassi,
it is.
and you,
you're the leader.
(and you are too amazing for words) |
 poetic abortion 2007-02-07 . chapter 1Oh.
That is--
That is, oh. ♥
This line:
"spell your name
in the condensation on the mirror, i whisper i need you
to try out the sound of it in my mouth." -- Is amazing. I love that, the whole meloncholy and detachment--oh, you siren; you don't really feel that, do you?
And this one, because it just sounds so right and more so:
"you never feel right
on my lips" -- I love you.
That is amazing; your opening stanza is enough to entrapt me and--
Jesus, that line:
"it's hard not to bleed
under your mouth; i want to shatter you." -- DAMN. That line, oh; so much love. Like to infinity and beyond-type love--eternal.
- Noelle |
 Midnight In Eden 2007-02-07 . chapter 1Couple questions before I rave. The way you've sometimes capitalised "i" and sometimes not reads a little sloppy. Perhaps try to kep it consistent. Actually perhaps keep all your capitalisation consistent, it feels a little all over the place.
Also your first stanza feels a little prosaic. Let it take cues from your ending which is superb and I want to commend you for using a semi colon correctly there. Keep it staccato and random like that.
Otherwise, adore. Love your ending lines.
.:midnight:. |