Self-depreciating agony with a tinge of sweetness. I dig it!

Technical suggestions: I'd get rid of the ellipsis after "well". I think a comma would just work better. With the ellipsis after "remember" just give it another line break to put "me" on the next line. With the hyphen in stanza two, you don't need it at all since you've got the brackets. With the final two lines I think it might work a little better in regards to an even flow as such:

refuse to paint
in shades in disappointment.
not this time.

Otherwise it's not bad, it feels very personal and works as such.

.:midnight:.