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| AluminumMuse 2007-05-16 ch 1, | abuseI like that this song actually has an identifiable rhythm, while the majority of fictionpress songs don't. I liked the part about novacaine. This being a biography, some more specifics could be called for. You don't have to get too wordy, but it would help the reader's window into your life if you did add examples, even vague ones hidden in metaphors or whatever. For now, -Feather |
| RedWheeler 2007-02-20 ch 1, | abuseFirstly, let me agree with that song you quoted and your opinion on it as well. Being angry is better than feeling depressed out of your mind. Anger seems to subside quicker for me than saddness. Anywho... sorry you got taken out of place you liked to be at. Does it really look like a mental institution...? I hope you like it there nonetheless, not that I've heard much good things about it. Onto the other segment on this piece. You really like the "Ode to Nothing" line, eh? I do too. But my favourite are the lines previous: "And welcome to my damned greeting! It screams inside of my head! Novacaine don't kill the feeling! It shreds my soul instead!" Great job again, you keep on smiling too! |
| Vinnie K. 2007-02-09 ch 1, | abuseVery Marilyn Manson meets Metallica...But that's probably just me. I liked this since it flows well and it speaks out what readers could be feeling. Well done - you deserve a cookie. |
| Slightly Obsessive 2007-02-07 ch 1, | abuseHey there! I uploaded something and was taking a look at the Just In page when i spotted this! If this was a song it would probably be metal, rock or gothic rock. Or something like them. The rhyming is good and it flows well too. I really like the last verse. The line "...dark concerto to inferno..." is very cool. |