Good job on this. Keep it up.

Well, I'd say the grammar was top-notch, I couldn't pick out anything I wouldn't be guilty of myself and the flow went really well I thought. I particularly like the names actually, I always have so much trouble coming up with decent names and these are memorable so kudos. Also, I don't read many future-fiction stories that grab my attention but this one has done a nice job, so I look forward to reading more.