Powerful, for its shortness. Keep writing!

I like what this is saying and where its going. Its a little bit choppy at some parts and I'm not sure if you put it that way on purpose or not but I think it adds to the poem and gets your point across much better than if it had flowed like it was sugar-coated. Great job!

I really quite like what you're saying here. However it reads quite prosaic. All you need to do to give it a more poetic feel is condense some of the smaller words like "then", "and" etc out.

Otherwise, vicious and good.

.:midnight:.