Your words were enchanting and the description of the girl almost broke my heart. I've always wanted to say more with my eyes.

m. this is ethereal. even with the gritty first stanza, the rest of it really turns the girl into a dream instead of a solid idea. the one we think we have of her. it starts out painting a picture of her as the typical bad-girl, the one who's slutty and brash, but we get the details of her filled in and we learn the truth about her later on.

i don't know, ignore my speculation. what i mean to tell you is, that's what i like about it. it seems like you're taking a worn-out idea and breathing new life into it, which is so much harder than people would think.

'this girl cried honey...' good god, what imagery. that's amazing. and i have to say the quotation [latin, i assume? i took it in third grade; i don't remember anything but the word for earth and arm] at the end just lends to its dreamy feeling. makes it seem like you can't quite fully understand it. leaves you tantalized, in a way.

beautiful writing. full of subtlety that has more of an affect on you than you realize at first. and, like i said, the imagery is jaw-dropping.