| Reviews for Black Magic |
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Single and Fabulous 3/30/07 . chapter 32Well, it was very interesting story. And you're right, I didn't expecr it to go there! Good job! |
Guacamole 3/30/07 . chapter 32wow. that was a good story. wish the ending was a little better though... |
C. Fitzsimmons 3/30/07 . chapter 32That... was really quite anticlimactic. The epilogue was all well and good, but I had no inclination that chapter 31 was the climax. You didn't really build up to anything and nothing spectacular happened. I still don't understand what happened with Trey, Miranda, and Jeremy, and who was the intruder? Lucy did some really unusual and incredible things in earlier chapters and in 31, she just kind of muddled around until things resolved themselves for no apparent reason. I can understand trying to keep the story from dragging on, but I can tell from what you wrote before that you can do better than that. Have an actual final confrontation. Have a battle with magic or with weapons or even just words. Have Lucy do something she had never been able to do before. Have her do -something-. Build it up to some sense of finality and the ending will be very effective. I did enjoy the story and I hope you keep writing. With some work, this story could be really good. Thanks for sharing it. |
Guacamole 3/22/07 . chapter 29oh my god! it's finally drawing closer to the final battle! this is getting so exciting! can't wait to see the end! |
C. Fitzsimmons 3/17/07 . chapter 26Yet another interesting twist. A couple of spots in this chapter had a little too repetitive sentence structure. Otherwise, another enjoyable one. |
C. Fitzsimmons 3/12/07 . chapter 22Quite the cliffhanger ending for this chapter. Nicely written. I'll be waiting for more. |
C. Fitzsimmons 3/12/07 . chapter 20One other thing I like about this story is I can never really guess where it's going to go next. You've planned it out well. |
C. Fitzsimmons 3/12/07 . chapter 16I must admit, I wasn't expecting this turn of events. I love the humanity of the characters here. They do seem very real. |
DeborahDanielle 3/6/07 . chapter 17heya, i love ur story! lol, ur writings great and yeh i love the witchyness. keep up the good work n update soon please :D |
C. Fitzsimmons 2/28/07 . chapter 15Some more proofreading would help this chapter. There were a few odd words and such. Also, remember to keep your italicized thoughts in present tense. I must say, this chapter was a little anticlimactic, but it's still fairly natural. You might hurt the story if you have another chapter like this following action/suspense, though, so just keep that in mind. Anyway, you certainly keep me busy reading this. I've known very few, if any, authors who updated a story so regularly. |
C. Fitzsimmons 2/28/07 . chapter 14I like Lucy's reactions in this chapter. So often, you see tense situations like this in which the lead character reacts in an overexaggerated manner, being totally dumbfounded or what have you. This is something I can relate to and accept. You've built up the suspense nicely, as well. |
Guacamole 2/24/07 . chapter 13love your story and love the witch theme. if you can read my stories! |
C. Fitzsimmons 2/24/07 . chapter 13Quite the development. I love the way you're setting up so many different things at once here. Leaves me with a lot of questions and wanting to know what happens next. Keep writing. |
C. Fitzsimmons 2/24/07 . chapter 12Remember to keep italicized thoughts in the present tense. Think of it like dialogue; you wouldn't say to someone, "maybe I was in love with him" under the circumstances, you'd say "maybe I am..." Still enjoying the story and the direction it's going. |
C. Fitzsimmons 2/24/07 . chapter 11Ah, I was wondering when we'd get to see this ability. I'd say something about wanting more of Lucy's reactions to her vision, but I think the vagueness works in this case. |