Oh, the last few lines are just teeming with imagery and feeling... beautifully expressed. 'Embryonic falsity' and 'gleaming hotly'. So eloquent, and fierce.

Haha, yes, I suppose that's true. I love that this has an air of humor, but it's completely dramatic at the same time. Nicely done. The last 3 lines of this are just divine. "sparrow-boned," "embryonic falsity," and the last line in its entirety are fantastic. Gorgeous work. Keep writing! :)

I'd love for you to split this: "these tragedies, birthed more fully into the world" in half. It feels too much of a mouthful just lying there as one line.

Perhaps also after line six, give it a stanza break. I want to pause and marvel at the lovely language you've laid out here.

.:midnight:.

Yes, I have also encountered this term and wondered at its meaning. I think a discussion about this subject could become somewhat heated.

Well, the poem is gorgeous.

"these tragedies, birthed more fully into the world
than the half-finished
words of our lives."

Beautifully imagined sentence, although the abrupt line break is not entirely to my liking. But this is a minor issue. Otherwise, once again, a wonderfully crafted piece.

Beautifully written... I love the wording. Brilliant.

Phrases like "birthed more fully into the world", and "sparrow-boned", really capture something special. They stick in the readers memory so easily that they become almost instant language. The sound in this is marvelous as well. Very confined, then bursting. You've painted something so specific in such a small space. Wonderful work. MD:77.

The language here is very expressive of the Lolita culture, and the line "embryonic falsity" creates a great mental image. This is nicely written piece that captures what I tend to feel about that archetype.