oh, sad.

i exist only to displace water in a bathtub

I really like that line, though. way to be creative and not whiny, it's a nice change :)

so much temperature without the coldness taken out yet in here/on here.
it's a really cool piece to read.

This is a nice piece. It's serious and heartfelt, which is a nice change. I like the specifics of this, like "an electric purple beam." I can really see that. The way you've phrased some of these things makes you wonder if you're referring to people at all - "maybe you think I exist only to displace water in a bathtub" sticks out to me. Very interesting piece. Keep writing! :)

Like this, not really sure of what's going on but i like the language and the pace. The line 'even a cloud can block a sunbeam' is a real mood setter, think the line about the straw is a bit random and takes the poem out of it's flow a bit, but toher than that good work.

peaceout, kenzie