Hahaha, WOW. Charlie is...interesting. I don't really like him that much - he's pretty annoying.

I do wish there had been some more description in this chapter, though, because it got a little confusing toward the end, with all of the dialogue.

Another funny chapter, though )

-Othello, from the Review Marathon (*points to link on profile*)

I loved this, because it was so funny, and it didn't even seem like you were trying too hard, which was a bonus. The only thing I really have to comment on was about James being fired, because I was confused about how that happened. Like one of your other reviewers, I was under the impression that he helped run the store.

Anyway, good start!

-Othello, from the Review Marathon (See the link on my profile for details.)

oh, a complication! I loved the musings, it felt very real to James' character and I loved his voice. The second chapter wasn't my favorite, I must admit, because I just wasn't sure where James was. Not physically, but as a character, he just seemed sort of absent, more like a video camera recording the events than an actual person participating in them.

But don't give up this story; I want to hear more about Lauren!

Wow, this is definitely going on my favorites list! This was amazing, so funny and clear and well-written! The introduction especially had me cracking up.

One thing I was confused about: why did Kaira have more power in the store than James did? It seems like they ran it together and everything, and I'd like to know more about Kaira's reaction to Desiree firing him-it feels like she agreed with the decision but if they were such good friends, it doesn't seem likely.

Besides that... it's really just amazing! Post more, please!