FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Lisa98 2007-03-01 ch 1,  | abusewow. : ) this poem reminds me of this time i was talking to a boy, and he kissed me... and you know how when you're kissed you're supposed to be swept off your feet and all that good stuff? _yesh well i just kept right on a talkin' his lips pressed up agains mine : ) i might have to write a poem about that. you're work is nice. and i agree completely about the shorness.. |
| eyes of sky 2007-02-19 ch 1, | abuseThis is a little confusing... it feels like it's about to have a rhyme scheme then doesn't. Personally I feel that the 2nd and 3rd lines are too wordy - you may be trying to make a point about the effect of wordiness, in parallel with the general idea of the poem, but there is too much of a jump to the 4th line. |