All I really have to say about this poem is that it's creepy. Like, really creepy. (And I just tried to spell 'creepy' like 'creapy' 0.o)

You need to work a bit on the different 'your/you're's. 'You're' means 'you are', 'your' is possessive, so in: 'Watch you're family die,/See you're children fall,/See theyre heartches...' The first 'you're' should be 'your', the same for the second, and for the 'theyre' it should be 'their'.

Very well written poem. And no kidding- their choice effects other big time. hehe lol