|Reviews for Today Today|
| The Reverse Edge Blade 2/28/07 . chapter 1
I don't see why you should think others don't like it! You have a right to feel proud of this poem! I liked how you repeated one of the words through the poem. And the length of the poem was nice too! Even though it was long, it was necessary for it to get the message down. I loved it! Keep at it and write more!
The Reverse Edge Blade
| The Postscript 2/19/07 . chapter 1
I guess I am one of the many readers you describe who "doesn't get it". I did not like this poem for a few reasons. Starting with the phrase "Today today". Thinking that there is more than one "today" to change is not pro-active. Also, I didn't like the lines "Could be the day/When you find everything/To be the way/You say it should be". It's in human nature to never be satisfied (whether good intended or not). To state differently is naive. You can't just one day wake up and find everyting is okay again. People work - really hard - to make everything okay again.
I try to see it in your light too, you're trying to say that if you are not pro-active then you have no right to complain. That people can adjust their view of 'they way it should be' and find happiness. I think you have a good message somewhere in here. I really do. You just need to narrow your focus and find that message and make it clear. Make it stand out and stand up for what it is. The word choice for this entire poem is very simple and that can lead to confusion as well. Mix it up and try to rephrase some of your thoughts to clarify them. Keep writing, k.