FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| RodeoGirl 2008-10-04 ch 1,  | abuseThis was pretty good. I liked waht you were saying. Gleaming in the dark, my envious side is born I would split this up into two lines. Well, that is all I can think to say, except for good job! :) |
| Isca 2008-09-27 ch 1, | abuse"For as this moisture descends My ill will is laid bare." That line was very descriptive, and had a sense of maturity within it. "Laced with envy, I cry and weep." That was an excellent way to begin the poem! Some parts felt a bit awkward, but overall, I think you really captured this 'deadly sin' and used great tear-imagery to inhance it :) |
| DayDreamer64 2007-04-19 ch 1, | abuseWow... That's so cool! I'll check out the story when I can. DayDreamer64 |
| Infinite Smiles 2007-02-20 ch 1, | abuseBeautifully worded... and I love your idea about writing about the 7 deadly sins... very creative. Well done. |