Wow... I really liked this. It sounds like (for some reason) it was written a long, long time ago... like something I would find in a poetry book. I think all the word are fine... not wordy at all (or I didn't find anything worth nit-picking, anyway). I like the imagery and the pictures you've painted. Nice work!- Sarika (P.S. Thanks lots for your reviews!)

This is an interesting though flawed piece. The story to it is excellent, the tone wonderful, haunting, reflective, and there is some good imagery. "Pretty wives with porcelain smiles" is gorgeous, and the poem starts off well, staying generally good throughout. Then there are the lines that just come and halt the flow of this: "All at once the people stopped for only a moment" - 'all at once' and 'only a moment' in the same phrase is too negating, clashing, significance hiding. After this line, some of the others are too long, too wordy, and drop the reader into a too-common conclusion. This is a good poem, but could be much better. Nice work.

Very interesting. Love it.