FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| sunscraped. 2007-06-10 ch 1,  | abuse"can they hear it?" what are you trying to say here? this is the only time 'they' is mentioned. mostly this doesn't give much of an impression of murder. the imagery is few and far in between and you haven't used any discernable literary techniques to spice it up. more or less, looks like a rough go. |
| Mr. Magic 2007-03-30 ch 1, | abuseHey ig! it's Magic! I'm back! woohoo! no more forums though. oh well, i'll live. i really liked this. i personally love emo poetry and this was very emo! nice job! Magic |
| chibi dragons 2007-03-27 ch 1, | abusei got chills. good job, its very... alluring. its great. |
| truthordeal 2007-03-18 ch 1, | abuseYour poem is off-rhythm, but not really in a way that makes sense for free verse. Then again, who am I to criticize something like that? Otherwise Emily Dickinson would never have been published. The message, if it does indeed have a message and I'm not just crazy, seems pretty apparent and relavent. |
| sicklysnowwhite 2007-02-27 ch 1, | abusediscripive! good! rather dark and dreary, very... malicious. i like it. |
| The Intelligent Designer 2007-02-24 ch 1, | abuseDark, scary, and unbelievably criminal in its mastery of cool, emo poetry...nice, but, ya know, not. |
| TheAngelofhope 2007-02-22 ch 1, | abusenot a bad Poem. Good job. :) |