Hmm. This made me think of older poems, like from before the free-verse boom. It's really good. I like the flow and that the rhymes aren't too random and forced. Great job.

The message is pretty clear to understand and the poem has a good rhythm and rhyme. Even though you didn't have to, you used almost perfect grammar. There is nothing I would think to change about your work.

Whoa, that's a nice poem! I loved the rhymes, and the way you wrote your message,letting the rhyming play such an important part in this poem! It was neither too long, nor too short for the message to be understood. This poem was great! Write more!
The Reverse Edge Blade