 stars.are.watching 2008-06-03 . chapter 1I liked how you switched to the apostrophe in the middle, speaking to the meteor instead of just describing its descent like you did in the beginning. Sometimes things like that can be confusing, but it worked here. |
 Isca 2008-05-13 . chapter 1Epic. Creative. Lovely! |
 TragicDreams 2007-04-01 . chapter 1Very creative! I liked this a lot. Its a bit mysterious. It makes me want to go outside and watch the stars. Keep writing! |
 B.S. Ha 2007-03-20 . chapter 1I like the way you worded everything - except for
"The passionate kiss you gave to Earth"
There wasn't anything wrong with that line, but "passionate"? Ah well, maybe it's just me.
~forestpsych |
 love you to death 2007-02-23 . chapter 1nice work n,n
i liked the last line (:
keep writing.
` lv;svnsks. |
 xDancingintheRainx 2007-02-23 . chapter 1I really like this piece. It was beautifully written and the topic was very creative. Great job and keep writing! |
 Marie Ellen 2007-02-23 . chapter 1Wow, really cool poem! I loved that idea; and you're so right--things from space really open up our perspectives as to the insignificance and un-aloness of Earth. That could be emphasized by using "tiny" as an adjective for Earth intead of "quiet," perhaps.
I think the last line is the most awkward in the poem, and I've been thinking of how to word it better but so far I haven't had any luck. My favorite lines were "Its greatest triumph, coming here/ From origins divine." and "the passionate kiss you gave to Earth"--those are really pretty lines. :-) |