 Misanthrope 2007-02-24 . chapter 1This story has a lot of potential to be very chilling, but I think naming the body in the first line really hurts it. It might help you a lot to move it around, maybe towards the end. I feel like once I read "Mrs Jones" I can figure out the rest of the story: oh, she killed someone she knew. Also, the use of "a-calling" seems really out of place and could be shortened to just "calling." I know that none of this advice can help you in the competition now, but just to give you some pointers that might be applicable to your future works. |