Reviews for Liberate - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Liberate

tainted music 2008-09-06 ch 3,	abuseIntriguing. I really enjoy the way you bring the main character across and also how you decribe things. It's certainly a good read. :)
someone 2008-03-28 ch 3, anon.	abusenext chapter soon please. What happened at that party?
serenader 2007-06-11 ch 3,	abuseSOMEHOW you always outdo yourself. I don`t know how you do it, but there it is! The imagery here is GORGEOUS, I love the personification(ie: making a room an organ). I`m so excited for chapter 4 and hopefully the meeting of Marley--up close and personal. Don`t leave us hanging!
serenader 2007-05-29 ch 2,	abuseLena, you know how much I lovelovelove this story. I love Marit's character, I love Marilyn in all of her strong motherly tendencies, I love Marley, and I love the almost-tense atmosphere you seem to create with all of the character interaction(sans Marit and Marilyn). It reminds me of the way a chord hangs in the air in an enormous, resonant concert hall just.. vibrating. You know how I love your imagery, it makes me drool all over myself. Awaiting chapter 3 eagerly. ;)
Osunale 2007-03-08 ch 2,	abuseOpening paragraph: immediately arresting. Eating Cap'n Crunch is such a relatable experience, but your take on the advertising is so original, so...wonderful, really. An interesting perspective that compells me to read more of the character that experiences -this- for breakfast. The writing has a very modern feel with the hyphenation ("diamond-bright," "dizzy-minded") and forthright descriptions, but there's also a classic attention to detail and complexity in structure. These elements are combined very well. "The book spines feel refreshingly cool to the touch, a counterbalance to the streams of light that blanket the floor from the hallway’s high windows." needs something stronger than a comma to separate - it would be appropriate to use a word (or words) instead of puncuation to connect these particular clauses. Going right into the next sentence: "and accompanied in its wake..." would be better suited by 'and is accompanied in its wake by..." or something similar. I love "staccato disruption." My goodness. The Jenny Silverton and girl encounter is absolutely marvelous. Just marvelous! I'm also quite delighted with the presentation of Ms. Ainsley. Now, she is certainly one of those "interesting touch" characters that slide incredibly well into the story. Marit's observations of the other students (or, their self-portraits to be exact) in the art room are engrossing - there's a feeling of being there with her, of seeing these same things. She appears wonderfully insightful. “I—I guess it kind of says that I do what I’m told,” - now we seem to be gaining some insight into Marit herself. Granted, just a glimpse, but what a statement! It's so strangely summing up, but needing a following-through. I just noticed that Marilyn and Marit both begin with 'Mari' - I like it. Connectivity makes me happy. ^_^ Ahh! This is so gorgeous that I want to scream. Wow-oh-wow. Keep writing this one because it's wonderful. So much to go on, so little understood...you give just enough tendrals to grasp at that I'm completely absorbed in the words and held by the desire to know more. I had to get up once to answer the phone while reading this and it drove me bonkers...I wanted to come back. Part of me thinks that it must be too early to be this into a story, but. I don't think it's helpable. You've ensared me right from the start. Excellent work.
Osunale 2007-03-02 ch 1,	abuseOh my, oh wow. I want to review this like a poem - the language is absolutely stunning! Especially in the opening chapters, the words flow gorgeously, making me want to read this aloud (and I did go back and read a couple of paragraphs), striking up perfect images of the scene. That's something I have difficulty with in my prose, trying to get the reader to envision what's happening, but you do it wonderfully. You write like a poet, but don't succumb to the allure of vagueries or too-difficult-to-discern storytelling. Excellent and elegant. BUT, this story goes quite beyond the language. It's not just the telling that interests, but the tale itself. You've started off an interesting and intriguing character in Marit, and her reactions to the things around her - to Jenny in particular - make me quite curious. Just for the sake of a critique: "a worn pair of jeans that hangs off her hipbones and slouches over her sock-clad feet...then slips on a pair of well-used black sneakers." I don't like the two 'pair's so close together. :) I've been wanting to read this all week, but put it off until the weekend so that I could give it the proper attention that it deserves. You did not disapoint: this is a beautiful beginning, and looks to be the start of an excellent story.
as beauty dies 2007-02-25 ch 1,	abuseSo, like, I have these two rules for me absolutely adoring your work and, well, you've covered both of 'em eloquently. 1. Style. And this oozes style. Like, to the nth power. I love the whole thing because you, essentially, retain a semi-poetic, semi-prose style to your writing--it's beautiful, seriously. Oh; and the opening line is amazing. It sets up the dramatics and suspense into a tight chord about to snap, and I love it. It's amazing. 2. Femmeslash. Anything femmeslash immediatly earns my love, I swear. This is pretty and implicit and, yeah, I'm going to sit here and yearn for this. - Noelle [Oh, and this is poetic abortion, by the way. ;)]
Instant Ninja 2007-02-25 ch 1,	abuseHave I told you I love your style? ...hugs...
Pxlism 2007-02-24 ch 1,	abuseI think the first chapter was eloquent and beautiful. You've always had that fantastic ability when it comes to descriptions. It's like you can see the story in your head while you read it, and that's very powerful. Can't wait for the next installment!

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