nice ending, you tied up all the loose ends.
try to avoid the words 'in conclusion' but in this case it works just telling you for future reference.

Wow, this story was pretty amazing! I was intent on finishing it, too -- Not just dumping it in the middle and forgetting about it.


Asher's sense of humour is great, I love it. Cahna was kind of funny, too. I can just picture a ghost-child cussing like a sailor :) I kind of like the way the Iwasaki twins are near-polar opposites of one another. It kind of gives a twist to things, since people tend to think twins are oh-so-much alike it's not even funny :/


I liked the ending to this story, the shopping trip makes me chuckle to think about :) I noticed a few little spelling mistakes here and there, but it's not much to worry about. And yes, I'd have to question the Mayonnaise, but I'm afraid to ://



Until next time,

Mizz Karumenu.

Mayonnaise?

That was a really sweet story! I love the way Hinata and Asher joke with each other. It's just fun to watch! "Did you just call Johnny Depp a babe? Are you gay for Johnny Depp?" SHE IS MEAN! (well not really I guess).

Stupid manager... why is he ruining their harmless fun? That was actually a really good part to explain how Asher had finally found someone who really knew him AND accepted him. Risa was too freaked out. They're definitely a believable couple.

It might not've been a stunning conclusion (but maybe that's because there's room for more to happen in a hypothetical sequel?) however, I thought it was fitting. I love the fact that they got together and it actually was an interesting way to start off a date... grocery shopping (it could be fun I guess).

I like Hinata way more now, too. Just like Asher said, that whole stoic and cold personality is just not... well it was understandable in the beginning, but I'm glad she changed... since she finally got with Asher!

Well, I guess this is bon voyage to the happy couple for now. (not sure this review does it justice... i'll message you if i think of anything else to say). Nice job!

Aw, that's sweet that they finally got together. Good riddance Cahna! Haha, I like Asher's older brother... he can be funny. "silly Jacob".

Well, off to read the next chapter.

I really like this story, you write the characters really realistically, and with individual personalities. Just one thing, when Asher first met Risa and Hinata, how did he know their imaginary friends names?

Yay! Go Asher! I can't say I like Hinata a lot; I can understand her situation but I still wish she'd show more emotion (not that you as an author arent' giving her enough, she's just not my favorite character).

HA! She exploded, well not really. I love Asher's narrating voice.

The only criticism I have is that Asher's speculation on the glowing eyes and stuff got just a bit redundant.

I like it though; it's a very nice climax. It was a little on the speedy side in terms of pace but I think we all wanted to see Cahna gone, and fast! (Oh, it was SO SATISFYING to hear Hinata call Cahna a b*!)*punches the air with fist* Whoo!

I won't say I can't wait for the next installment because I've badgered you enough. So here's a computerized pat on the back for doing a hell of a better job than I can continuing a story.

Will try and update mine.

we! Cahna go boom!

Just got new glasses, so I've been dizzy aal day...whee.

Update soon!

Please?

~dk ^..^

um i think the "steak" you're looking for is STAKE. a steak is a pretty dam good piece of meat. a stake is a pointy sharp thingy.

Ick. Mountain Dew. *doesn't drink caffiene*

Yay, plot! That always makes things enjoyable.

update soon!

~dk ^..^

whoops. alcohol big no no. XP

haha! shocked the little invisible friend!

poor asher.

~dk ^..^

The secret's out!

Must read more.

~ray ^..^

Yeowch. I would hate to have that imaginary friend.

Hope Ash feels better in the upcoming chapters.

~dk ^..^

THIS is a new theme. I can't wait to see how it unfolds.

Kinda reminds me of Bleach/the one demon from Inu Yasha with the flute.

keep up the good work!

~dk ^..^

Not sure if I like this one as much as the other two I read, but still very enjoyable. I'd suggest finding someone to edit your chapters for you later on as well. The last chapter on this story had quite a few errors and such. Still, it was well written. Hope to see more updates from you. =]

Hm. I guess Risa isn't as bad as I thought. But I'm not sure I completely understand; what happened to Risa's imaginary friend?

Now I'm starting to think Hinata's the mean one. I mean, why would she always think that Risa's just mocking her? They're both so... confusing.

Poor Asher, a night person stuck with morning people!

What, he just left Wyatt and took her to Chichi's?

That was pretty pivotal; can't wait to see what happens at Chichi's and Hinata's reaction to everything!