Reviews for Let it Snow - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Let it Snow

Twilight Starr 2008-07-10 ch 1,	abuseCute story. The ending dialogue made me smile. I like the simplicity of it. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~
Written 2008-02-26 ch 1,	abuseAww! Very sweet and romantic. I have to say, where I live, the snow is kind of the worst thing about life, because it hardly ever goes away. Still, there's magic in that first snow :) this story brought back my memories of growing up on a cul-de-sac. thank you! very prettily written.
Fractured Illusion 2007-07-14 ch 1,	abuse"The people next door to the boys, a newly married, couple " There should probably not be a comma between married and couple. Either that or I don't get it. "Somehow, the running and the snow and the laughter takes hold of her and she doesn’t notice until she’s been running for what feels like hours that she knows the boy running with her." Sentence makes perfect sense until after "that she knows the boy". I am just heavily confused. I had to re-read it several times, and I came to the conclusion that you should make it two sentences in stead of one. And now to other stuff; aside from his "stalking" in the beginning (don't take it the wrong way, it was in the cute stalking category) I don't see much romance. It was more the beginning of a friendship (that could possibly lead to romance later on, I am sure). The whole read just screamed of "cute". I was a little confused when you switched to her point of view, as I was still with the guy in my mind, and somehow the switching was my biggest problem as I for weird reasons had trouble following. There was a lot of "she" and "he" without any defining character traits to separate the two scenes before they mashed together. Sweet ending though. And I like the addtion of "Let it snow" singing he had. For some reason I found it funny. And it makes me wish I had some sort of "lunatic" who sang let it snow or similar songs when the season is right... Ack, you can't have it all I suppose.
CaveDwellers 2007-06-10 ch 1,	abuseThat was cute. A bit hard to tell who was who because of the lack of names or labels, but i got it in a general sense. I like how you incorporate their different views on the same setting and situation, that was cool. The general concept was pretty cool, too. the only typo i see is this one: "The people next door to the boys, a newly married, couple is throwing snowballs at each other." i don't understand the purpose of the comma between 'married' and 'couple'. I think there was another one, too, but i can't find it right now.
AwesomeBetty 2007-06-01 ch 1,	abuseDude, you need to be more specific in the characters. I mean, seriously, do any of these people have names? you say "the girl" and "the two boys" and all that. I can't keep up with who's doing what. I mean, maybe I'm a ... Or, maybe this story is poorly written. I mean, I know I'm not one to talk, since my stories all blow, but dude, come one, I mean, be more specific. What do the boy and the girl with no name in the beginning of the story have to do with this? Who lives in the house with all the neighbors? Could you please give at least two of these kids names? No, I'm not being a . I mean, just kinda, ya know, get to the point. There's nothing happening. Okay, kids who have no identity are playing in the snow, we get it. I mean, man, come on. You should read my stories. They suck **, but you can keep track of what's going on, at least. I'm not saying I'm a better storyteller than you, I'm just saying that my stories are easier to follow than this one is.
IdeasInTheAir 2007-05-07 ch 1,	abuseI like how you explain the snow. Where I live, it snows all the time in the winter (except this one, this one was just really cold) so it's a bit different than how you said the people reacted, but just as magical. I kind of like how you didn't mention their names once, not one name. It kind of makes you think that it could have been your street, or someone in your school. It was also cool how you switched between the characters, and even though they weren't developed at all, you didn't really need them to be. One shots are nice sometimes.:) ~Danielle.
mesmerised bookcat 2007-04-05 ch 1,	abuseOh... I like this, it's really sweet. I think it captures the whole shyness that I think any kind of romance should have, instead of the whole, "I think your hot, let's hook up" kind of stuff you usually read. Anyway, thanks for writing as I enjoyed reading it. :)
SuzyDiego 2007-03-19 ch 1,	abuseThe story was cute and the romance wasn't exxagerated, but the tense in the story was somewhat underdeveloped. You wrote a great story but still, you have better potential if you tried a different tense. An example, “The snow’s still there,” she tells him, and he grins., you could have said told instead of tells but that's just an opinion. Otherwise, great plot.
Qzie 2007-03-16 ch 1,	abuseAww, I liked it. :) That was really sweet! I like how you tied everything together. It was really good. And I like how it wasn't completely "fluffy" or "OH my gosh, I love you!" or anything. It was just very simple and sweet. Nice story.
its.Nothing.Special 2007-02-28 ch 1,	abuseAww, sweetness! That is so not fair, though. It flippin' NEVER snows here in so-Cal. Oh welps. :) Well-written, as always, though there were a few grammatical errors: "Winter break was about to begin, and his family has something very special planned" That sounded a bit off to me; you switched tenses or something. "The people next door two the boys, a newly married couple are throwing snowballs at each other." 'two' should be 'to' and 'are' should be 'is.' I think. I really liked the end, though, hehe! Quote: He nods. "I wouldn't like anything more," he tells her. Cutee! I like how you put that "he tells her" there because it doesn't really give the story the finality that leaving it out would give. Does that make sense? Basically, that clause makes it seem like the story's going to continue. With romance! Hahaha, that's how I'm interpreting it because I am a silly romantic at heart. SHH! Keep writing! ;)becky

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