|Reviews for People Watching|
| Braavosi 4/5/12 . chapter 1
Wow, definitely became one of my favorites pieces here on fictionpress. One may not need to wonder the reason behind your wining! You totally nailed it!
I quite liked it, but there are some confusing bits as other reviewers have previously pointed out. For instance, at the start, you gave us the impression that the lad was killing some girl, and then you changed the point almost completely. But I myself think that the beginning of the narrative shows us the "hunter" remembering how he came to be a member of the pack. Thus he tells the Amsterdam tale. Well, I could be wrong, but that's my reasoning.
As for the 5 thingy, well, not everything must be explained, right? I liked that you made it sound vague. It's good for the reader to have his own very conclusions on some matters like these.
As a matter of fact, I'm adding you to my favorite writers list )
| not this again 1/2/09 . chapter 1
Your story is very well written, and it has a nice flow when reading.
It was a little unclear why he wouldn't like buses with the number 5, but I think I understand.
Also, I really liked the connection of the story with the picture. It's a good plot.
| GrannyP 12/16/08 . chapter 1
Wow, very interesting story. Nicely written, and I really enjoyed the connection of the storyline to the painting.
As for improvement: Hmm... You might consider changing one of your "mystery" classifications to something else, like supernatural, maybe? Or you can choose not to listen to me at all, which would also be acceptable. Ha. Yeah, I don't have anything for you there; I thought it was pretty good. So congrats on your win!
| Bridget12 7/8/08 . chapter 1
great, great, fantasic, amazing, did I say great?
| Erlkoenigin 3/6/08 . chapter 1
eine nette Geschichte. Was ist das für ein chellenge (Orthographie Glückssache)?
Hi forlorne figure,
you should find this famous painting in the "Webgalery". Just ask google!
| bukangliwayway 3/21/07 . chapter 1
i'm definitely searching the web for that painting! :D
| MacNWoody 3/8/07 . chapter 1
an interesting story...though sp,e pf the things confused me...the number 5 buses and you never explained why Amsterdam was boring to him like you hinted in the beginning of the story. and the beginning is where he is killing someone...you kind of skip from one thing to a totally different thing.
| Misanthrope 3/1/07 . chapter 1
This is a wonderfully written story. You start out just right, grabbing the reader's attention and you maintain this throughout the story. I don't understand some of the symbolism: for instance, why the main character is not able to enjoy the view of Amsterdam, or why the number 5 buses give him chills. I suppose it is just because of his experience, but it would be nice to have some clarification. I also noticed a few instances of repetition, such as "rather" quite a few times, and the "jump, run, flee, but by all that's holy" string twice. If you were trying to establish that as a theme, twice seems like you unintentionally made a mistake, but three times is good for intentional repetition. The ending was less chilling than I had anticipated, but it does set another theme as well as explain the title, and I find that it ties up the story nicely (though I would like some shivers!)
All in all, this was an enjoyable read, and very well written. Congratulations on your win. You deserved it.