That's really intense and creepy. It's well written, but at some point there was a typo where "bag" became "bad"... Also, you don't capitalized speakers after a comma. "'No,' Someone" The "s" shouldn't be capitalized. Other than things like that, it's a very good story.

Oh wow...That's great! I really, really love this story. You had beautiful description! The point of veiw was done really well, too. I just hope the main character isn't you. XD
Well anyway, super! I have no critics, expect you put "bad" instead of "bag" the second time you mentioned it, at the docks. And that's tiny!
Great work. I'm faving it!

Wow... thats all I have to say. All I would have to comment on would be adding a little more description to her friends. To get more of a visual. I really liked this. Good job.