Reviews for Larya - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Larya

MagicWords 2008-11-11 ch 1,	Beautiful writing! Great work.
dragonflydreamer 2008-05-17 ch 1,	Your off to a very good start with this. It's a very strong beginning that will certainly gget your readers hooked on the story. You did a very good job writing the beginning part. It's pretty common in fantasies to start stories with a summary of events that have happened to establish a bit about the world, but they are often very boring to read. However, yours progressed in a very logical and interesting way and your beautiful descriptions held the readers attention. Speaking of good descriptions, I loved the line "Life would be extinguished as easily as blowing out a candle." Very nice simile. I also liked your names. Professional writers make it sound so easy to come up with endless names for places and characters in fantasy stories, but I know from experience that it's no where near easy. You did a very good job of coming up with them. My only objection is that the transition from telling about the Shadow Casters to the part with Larya was a bit sudden. I think it would have been better even if you just put that horizontal line thingy (haha, I have no idea what fp calls that) to seperate the two ideas. Also, it seems like you jumped into Larya's situation with wanting to fight a little too quickly. Maybe actually write about when she aske her father or something. Also, minor thing, but there was a formatting error with a pareagraph towards the end; it was broke in two in a weird place. I really enjoyed reading this. It's been a while since you've updated this. Have you given up on it? I'd really like to read more if you decide to continue it. I'll deffinately review if you do!
Auraya 2007-03-20 ch 1,	It's so good! I love the way you build it up by explaining what's happening by telling us what it was like before the shadow casters and then contrasting by what it's turning into ur similies are amazing-heg peg would b proud! the way u portray Larya is really clever becuase she doesnt comes across as the typical spoilt princess type but as someone with a strong character! oh i dont no how to explain it properly i suppose it could easily come across as her being a brat but it doesnt at all! please write lots and lots more!
Aomera 2007-03-10 ch 1,	I love this clare, and want more!! one few thing that i couldn't work out so thought I'd ask you but you can ignore it if you want: Everyone was eager for the people that had brought so much terror to the surrounding kingdoms to be finally destroyed. I always wonder if in situations like this the 'that' should be 'who', is that right??! tiny thing but it always annoys me soo much when I can't work it out! This bit is my favourite: Life would be extinguished as easily as blowing out a candle, and an empire would be created so full of death, and pain, and loss, that the very essence of the world would be dissolved. The earth would stop spinning. Time would stop. You write so prettily! do you have a map and stuff of the place? sounds so cool! chat more when i see you well done! :)
Wolf bathed in Star-light 2007-03-10 ch 1,	YES! PRINCESS WHO WANTS TO FIGHT! WO! heh, heh, heh, not like im obsessed with princesses diguising themselves as boys and running away to fight or anything, heh, heh. they are so going to be defeated. And the king will be taken captive and Larya (pretty name, does it mean something?) will have to disguise herself as a boy and go rescue them, and kill all the shadowcasters! MWAH HA HA HA HA! or not, watev trev. i like it so far clare! tis good, tis a good start, can i ask - do you plan your stories out before you write them, or do just go with the flow of ideas as you write?

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