So far what I've seen is pretty good. I really like the plot here. Very good work. I really like the plot, and it seems pretty interesting. Definitely worth reading more.

Murr...

First off, how in the world did they get out of that jail cell or whatever it was? Wasn't there a guard or something?
And um, I dunno. If it were me, I might not recognize my destroyed house right away, like Mizu did. It's been a few years, hasn't it? And the second Kori appears, the whole house = bad memories thing is fogotten. He doesn't seem fased by it at all. And Mizu seems to heal too quickly. I'm not sure if just seeing a picture would make me hate my dad any less if he did something like that. There's more I want to say, but I'll leave that for another day.

I don't mean to be harsh, but... y' know. Nothing's perfect. Or somthing like that. Meh.

Um. I like Kiba. That is all.

Very nice work! I'd like to compliment you on describing the message carrier device. It made the story easier to understand and more believable.

Ok I got to make this quick,
Ur book is good so and far nice chapter

uh,
you need to send me your email adresses cause it's not working.
Found a great trailer for KH3!
-go to google and look up Kingdom Hearts 3
-then click on the first web page( dont click on shoper.yahoo)
-It's the last trailer on the page

It's really good but leaves to much to be pondered
I want to know what happens next!

anyway see you at school on thursday

wow, this is really good!
my favorite so far!

Hey I just finished rereading ur book. It's good and I like how you focused on the character's personalitys in ur chapters. Update soon!

P.S. Check out my story at

See you at school on Tuesday!!

Okay... I'll try to write a helpful review...

Okay, this chapter was really short, and I thought it was extremly weird that Mizu was having apple sauce to eat... I mean, it seemed really weird... to me, that is...

I would highly recommened more emotion and more info on the dudes who kidnapped Mizu...

So... yeah... this is a sucky review, but it's better than last time...

Okay. I have a -lot- to say about this chapter.

First off, I think you should separate the first paragraph from the second a bit more clearly, since they have pretty much nothing to do with each other. Unless that was Kiba's dream, which, from what you said, it wasn’t. It was Mizu's.

And again with the punctuation. Sheesh. Is it really so hard?

95 degrees at night? Where in the world to they live? Even in the summer and even in the desert, it gets cold at night.
And if it's night, why are they late, and what are they late for? You say it -seemed- like hours, but did hours really pass? Is it daytime now? You should say.

I really don't like Mizu speech about being fine now. It seems really... lame. Or something.
And right after his speech, someone says something about herbs. I can tell its Kana, but are they now in the kitchen or something? Where did she and Kiba’s dad -come- from? They just appear out of nowhere.

Oh, and nowhere is one word. So is outrun. Thanks.

There are a lot of small details missing that from here that really need to be put in. :3

Mizu gets kidnapped?! Gasp!

yo mang. This is very well written. I think you did a good job with explaining a bit of backstory of the Kitsune village place without making it boring or monotonous.

I also applaud the varied character personlities. It makes the story more interesting to read and it made me wonder what types of situations the different character types would be put in.

Overall a very nice piece of work and I'm looking forward to a new chapter-ness-thing.

Hi! This is a good start! You need to work on puncutation... but just listen to what the Flurry of Dancing Flames has to say...I suck at reviews and giving people advice!

This story has a lot of puntuation mistakes, the beginning is really choppy, and some of the description doesn't flow quite right. It needs a lot of editing, but the base is good. The part I have the most trouble with is probably the very beginning, but the rest could use a re-read, too, on your part, for grammatical errors and just bad sentences.

With a little work, this could be much better. ;3