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| Undrahas 2007-04-02 ch 5,   | ur telling me that this is all?!?!?!? ur telling me its complete!?!?!?!?!?!? either way it is good! |
| Undrahas 2007-03-19 ch 2, | ok its official. Joe lost his mind! lol. this was a good chapter. funny to. |
| J.Free 2007-03-17 ch 1, | This is excellent! I really love your style; it's very sharp and your timing is brilliant. I particularly liked: "Actually Stan Laurel, but good guess." I felt that Death could have been made into a more extreme character, but then nearer the end I think you hit your stride and he became funnier. I liked your interpretation anyhow, and the lighting and asthma attack cracked me up. I liked your characterisation of Joe, but I felt that he was a bit neutral at times. Perhaps that's because this is really written as something to be performed rather than read, but I was finding it hard to imagine him clearly; I was thinking maybe he should have some characteristic gestures to show his feelings. It's probably partly that you didn't put in any parentheses to say how the lines should be delivered, either. Still, I thought this was great, and I loved Joe's speech at the beginning. I can imagine it would be very funny indeed, especially with lighting and sound effects. Have you read/seen Alan Bennett's 'Enjoy'? It reminded me a bit of that, so maybe you'd like to check that out. Hope my criticism doesn't sound too harsh. I'll put this on my Alert list, anyway. :) |
| Undrahas 2007-03-07 ch 1, | this was hu8mourus! i like the last part. Death starts having an asmhta attack. |