FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Amari 2007-03-14 ch 1,   | *googly eyes* This one was really good. I especially loved the last line! With utmost sincerety, remaining Amari |
| maxnotevoltage 2007-03-14 ch 1, | I know this feeling all too well. It's something I've struggled with for a long time... It seems to me, though, that the poem might be more effective it it were longer. Since the opening line is "I once was lost," it seems to set the reader up for a later, perhaps paralleling, resolution. Of course, that's just my opinion. Because, while often my personal struggle did make it feel like I was "forever drowning in the waters of my mind," it didn't end there, because God was there to rescue me. Even through the storm, there was hope. Those are just my thoughts, though. The poem is beautiful as is. I love your way with words - you create vivid images in the minds of your readers, and those images are so... powerful. Your writing is an awesome gift from God. Thanks for sharing it with us! Cheers -- J.max :) |