Reviews for Industrial Black Evening

Reviews For: Industrial Black Evening - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Isca 2008-05-23 ch 1,	abuseGreat work!
soojinyeh 2007-10-10 ch 1,	abuseThis poem has been nominated for a 2007 Fiction Award for Poem of the Year: Industrial Black Evening by Guardrail.
Luna Turner 2007-07-26 ch 1,	abuseCreepy. Weird, but good. Just creepy. ~midnightjoy
MiScHiEvOuS sMiLeS 2007-07-07 ch 1,	abusethis was very well written and it's very good. my favorite line was the "You mistake laughter for screams, Hide when the clock stops, And cower at the passionate touch of shadows." for some reason i really just liked the way u described that. good poem and keep writing!
Icicle Tears 2007-06-27 ch 1,	abuseThis makes me think of clockwork gears spinning round and round, grinding and grinding until they're all ground down into a beautiful nothingness. It seems as if, when they stop, this fire inside is extinguished, and existence is no longer there to ravish. Lovely work, as always. -Icicle Tears
AK the Twilight 2007-06-07 ch 1,	abuseThere's so much finesse and imagery in this poem. It's full of rich imagery and powerful words that it cannot be ignored. But, the parenthesis seems to make it a bit over-analytical. The explanation seems to interrupt the brilliant language used. If you can reword the poetry in the paranthesis and integrate it into the poetry, it may make the smooth pace of the poem flow better. You possess a great strength in description; now all you need to do is manipulate it into smoother rhythm. But, on the whole, this is an amazing poem. Great job, overall.
mistressKC 2007-04-09 ch 1,	abuseyou are such a talented writer that your poem just simply flows. It's a joy reading them. You use the words to their advantage.
she's not breathing 2007-04-09 ch 1,	abusetrue that you always review back. i switch so many times i really don't remember who i lose along the way until someone jars me back but it always takes longer and longer to get jarred back. i think the default engine ate you again but if you find a new c2 and apply again you'll get through asap.
Kavita Najim 2007-04-09 ch 1,	abuseI like this. It flows like a river touching on this and that before finally reaching it's purpose. My condolences for your Grandfather. Thanks for the review,
a silenced revolution 2007-04-07 ch 1,	abuse"Hide when the clock stops, And cower at the passionate touch of shadows." I love those lines. I am not sure that I understand what this poem is about (although I have a few guesses as to some of the metaphors), but I think that the vagueness adds to the overall beauty of the piece. Marvelous word choice, imagery, atmosphere, and style. I have no critique to give. Wonderful job.
Artemis Claire Priden 2007-03-20 ch 1,	abuseWow... just... wow. I can't think of the proper adjective to describe this poem. But it is certainly unique. I like the form and style and you develop a clear and direct voice. Congrats! Keep writing and be happy! -Artmeis
sin olvido 2007-03-18 ch 1,	abuseHOLY IMAGERY. For some reason, the repetition of "horse and carriage" got to me, and... I don't even know what to say any more.
notated descant. 2007-03-16 ch 1,	abusea very eerie tone you've put to this piece... my only suggestion would be to try and section them into stanzas. Other than that, good job!
Moondog Dozier 2007-03-15 ch 1,	abuseThe scene that you've created is so well developed and heartfelt. The detail throughout gives the work a totality that few writers can achieve. Marvelously well written. Visual, emotional, and specific. Great write.
greenGalilee 2007-03-12 ch 1,	abuseI wonder--have you ever seen North and South? I think you might enjoy it. Good poem. I like the constant words that emphasize, brown, black, and dark, and especially how you compared the color of his face to that of the earth.

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