FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| October.Leaves 2008-06-01 ch 1,  | abuseHa! Oh wow, I burst out laughing when I read the last line. I couldn't help it, dude that made my day. Thank you. |
| Hed in the Cloudz 2008-05-24 ch 1, | abuseI love it! This is one story that screams that it will have a twist, and you've certainly delivered! Poor Jack... The repetition and matter-of-fact-ness make this very similar to many fictionpress stories, though. Not many people would bother with the awesome twist, but the huge amount of telling instead of showing, while humorous, takes away from the draw of the story. Your first sentence, in particular, resembles many of those that I've read on otherwise awful stories-- certainly a detractor for uncertain readers! --Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link on my profile!) |
| ketmie 2007-06-12 ch 1, | abuseI love this. Great miniature twist, hah! |
| RandoMaia 2007-04-02 ch 1, | abuseAhaha! Woah, did I seriously not read this before? This makes me happy... ^^ Yay for lesbians! |
| DopeyTheChosen1 2007-03-23 ch 1, | abuseyucky! i feel sorry for the girl who usually delivers the packages!...unless she's...u know.. |
| write25 2007-03-21 ch 1, | abuseThis was very well written and hilarious. I did not see that coming! You conveyed a really good sense of suspense throughout the story, and then the ending just made it absolutely perfect! Great work. Going on my favorites. ~Mariah |
| Rae Bauer 2007-03-16 ch 1, | abuseVery funny. And excellent story, althought slightly perverted. But then again, some delivery guys seem to fit the definition of the word. |
| Lightning Storm 2007-03-13 ch 1, | abuseHA HA HA HA HA I loved this. The ending was priceless. I can' almost see the shock on both their faces, lol. Excellent |
| your-little-skunk 2007-03-13 ch 1, | abuseWhile this isn't the best written piece of work, I have to commend you on coming up with a slightly nasty but quite funny story. It could use some work, but it makes me laugh, and in a humor story, I guess that is half of it, so good job. |