...Interesting.

I don't really understand the point of it. What's with the fish turning inside out?

"There's barely any breathe in me." I believe you meant "breath."

You should go back to your first paragraph and count how many time you write "I would" I'm sure you'll be discusted.


PROOF-READ. Reviews are to point out what doesn't work in your writing, not your tedious grammatical and spelling errors.

The ending was interesting how you said all that was reality, although it doesn't have a plot. I honestly didn't see if this was a one-shot or just a beginning. It would be cool for a beginning, but there's no elements of a story in this piece. You can describe the most complicated thing, be as poetic as shakesspear, but without the basics you're writing sucks--to put it bluntly.

Most importantly keep writing and reading and you'll improve, good luck.
~Laeden

I like the concept, very ineresting premise. However, bear in mind that this is coming from the person themselves, therefore it would probably be less blatent, more broken, like memories. Some minor gramatical errors could be easily fixed.

Peace out