I didn't really understand the ending, but I thought that the story itself was super-de-duper funny!! XDXD

Very funny. A bit twisted, a bi sarcastic, and a whole lot amusing. my only thing is Cole seems a bit flat. he's a guy that "screwed around" and doesn't seem to care much about his mother. is that all we should know about him?

God, that was freaky
ignore the minor pun
man, if that happened to me, maybe i'll choose the Black God's Option
maybe
absolutely freaky
now i'm wetting my pants. not.hehe
nah, that was awsome, i can't think of anything wrong with that. awsome. simply awsome
:D
Knightmage

this story is great. i'd also love to see you work more with the peanuts symbolism but i really love how you end it without a solution and with such an infuriating answer. the place where you chose to stop was perfect.

my only suggestion: more of an introduction. the beginning is lovely and i enjoyed it so much that i wish there was more of it, just to ease us into the characters a bit before the action. that said, i really love how the internal monologue-type introduction ends with this phrase, "I wanted to be nice to her because it would increase the chances that I would end up with her sister in the end."

i love how you contrast the fact that cole is nice to elaine, but not because he likes her, because he wants to end up with her sister. this contrast would be what i would suggest elaborating on in this section.

i love your work! continue the fantastic job!

-SA

GAH!

That was REALLY good.
But um...
DOES HE LIVE OR DIE?!?!?!?!?!??

Your writing skills are unbelievable.
No joke.
I'm superly jealous.
Ferr real.

But yes.
You have a really great way with words.
:)

hy!
I really can't see how this story could offend anyone! I guess it should be sad that Cole has kidney cancer but you managed to push that aside and that's what makes this story so special. It has a modern theme, a fresh point of view and it's not to long and not clichéd. And it leaves the pesimists think he went to hell and the optimists think he went to heaven. Or maybe the fact that she likes peanuts means...well I don't know :D you tell me!
The story is fresh, witty and very enjoyable!
Good job!
__Tina__

You know what I think? I think that because he didn't die during the surgery he's going to hell. THAT'S what I think. But of course...you refuse to tell me if its right or not! I HATE it when you write your lit mag submissions like that...gr on you! But it's still good. Cole Coleman for a name is funny, too. I couldn't have made such a good short story. Which is why nothing is submitted from me.

~Meg

Hmm... I find this kinda amusing, even though I don't think I should. In fact, Elaine is very sarcastic, wonderful personality for the Devil. So... I'm thinking that it means that Cole didn't die, cause if Cole isn't spending eternity with Elaine, then it wouldn't matter if Elaine likes peanuts. Ah well, maybe that's just me... Keep Writing!

well it is neat how u ended it being unclear. But the story as a whole seems to be an inch off of monumental. Maybe if you work with the symbolism in it (particularly the peanuts) a bit more, u'll get that inch. Still, you have my best wishes. Have you submitted it yet?