Reviews for Fate - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Fate

YurixKitty 2007-06-20 ch 12,	Hi... i have no idea what im supposed to write in a review... i guess ill just say that its a good story and you should keep going with it... yeah... that sounds like a review... lol well thats it bye
Melissa Norvell 2007-06-11 ch 12,	Not a bad story at all. You might try useing more desriptions of the settings and actions of your characters. Describing the background scenery gives the readers a better picture of what's going on in their head. I look forward to another chapter of this. Perhaps if you have the time, you'll read some of my works.
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-05-21 ch 7,	Pretty good, this is getting better. That kiss between Justine and Kove was worded fantastically. Also, introducing your 'Angelic' character... Brilliant! I liked how that was done as well. Lastly, transitioning out of that moment was great,"What was that supposed to mean?"
Lai Anderson 2007-05-18 ch 1,	nice job... and you did this when you were 11? keep it up...
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-05-17 ch 6,	Interesting, but this chapter stioll had that feeling of being done before. A half-breed angel and demon? Done countless times, and feels more than a little bit stale. Then making 'Kove' into this sympathetic character was disappointing to say the least. I liked it better when he was scary and disturbing. Lastly, for the love of god, learn to spell-check, and fix your grammar! With high hopes for your next chapter, I end this review.
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-05-16 ch 5,	That chapter was actually good. I've no complaints for once, kudos. The line "Hungry pig?" and the actions which followed made me laugh out loud. And again, Dex is the sensible one, but also a jerk. He essentially raped Justine while she was traumatized. I like that kind of duality to a character. Well done!
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-04-20 ch 4,	Aw... c'mon! Four teens share two rooms, one bed each, and no SEX? What the HELL? I know Or at least hope) that Zeke tried, but at the least, you could've gone a little deeper in-depth. While we're on that subject, what was up with that? She's clearly traumatized, and he unbuttons her pants? He's a real bastard. I would have to say, He's turning out to be the only character I actually like. As for that random, confusing japanese conversation... Why? Just why? Not to mention that "no" is spelled 'Iie', not 'Ie'. But at least Hai is spelled properly. As a whole, this chapter was better than the previous ones. I rate it as such: a FOUR out of SEVEN.
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-04-12 ch 3,	WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? Is that the response you wanted? I'll admit, That was a little surprising. Hell, unexpected. Very unexpected. I commend you, breaking the mold of the expected. That Demon(I'm assuming he IS a demon) is quite an interesting fellow, I want to learn more about his motives. This chapter was better than the earlier ones, I'll give you that. a FOUR out of SEVEN.
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-04-12 ch 2,	Umm... what the HELL happened? That 'strange voice' It still seemed a little done before. Well-written, but your inspirations seem a little obvious. And the driving scene, what was that about, not the scene itself, but the rather sudden moonrise. Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought that they had just left after school, but all of a sudden, a crimson moon came out of NOWHERE! Not only that, but it was dark. this leads to naught but one question: WHEN IN HELL DO THESE KIDS GET OUT OF SCHOOL? Regardless, I rate this a THREE out of SEVEN.
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-03-16 ch 1,	Mischief-making boarding schoolers? Yeah, like THAT hasn't been done before...(note my sarcasm) Childhood friends falling for each other, blah, blah, blah, So stereotypical. I've never read anything so predictable, and cliche- ridden in all my life. Unless some strange plot twist occurs, you are at the very top of mediocraty. And my rating for this reflects that, a THREE out of SEVEN.

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