I forgot what a wonderful writer you are, which is horrible of me. How you can say so much in so little and how your diction (which is just so you) could easily hold any writing up and make the reader get stuck, stopping the overall flow, but yours doesn't.
~Mel

I love your imagery. You describe every little detail without specifically illuminating it. Things that seem irrelevant contribute extra mystery.
The format itself is fun. It isn't the typical format of a poem, but it is still read as such. I don't know if you meant to do that or not, but it's neat.