This is starting to get really, REALLY good! You're getting me more hooked on the story with each new chapter.

Just one little tidbit that I noticed in the beginning of the story; the sentence where Tom is picking up that book needs to have a comma or something added to it, because the wording doesn't look right. Other than that (I just might have been too enthralled) I couldn't find anything. One more thing before I go back to the horrid waiting: update soon, please?

I just started reading last night, and only got to chapter 19, but so far I must say that this story is freaking AWESOME!

The way you write those untold battles between the characters is great, it really helps flesh out the story.

Looking good so far, will be awaiting the next chap.

Alright, this is looking great! I just loved the interaction between Dan/Steve and Turner so much!

Hi,

This is a really interesting story. Lots of description and original plot. Keep it up x

Your story about The Brothers Martin is very good -- I like the current revision a lot. You give just enough information to satisfy, yet still keep me coming back for the next chapter thanks to the bits left unsaid.

I'm not that good at posting reviews or anything (I think trying to second-guess an author is the height of hubris). Just realize there are lots of us out here who are reading through your material and are very impatiently awaiting the next installment.

*Squirms in my seat.* Now things are really starting to get interesting.

Awesome! This is looking great.

Sweet! I get to start all over again. Yay! This is gonna be rather enjoyable to read.

I like Henry's observation about Tom's eyes. That's the kind of attention I'd want in a doctor!

Another tense chapter, one I can't wait to see you continue. Lots of action here, and I'm dying to find out what's going on with Tom's little 'oddity' lol.

I didn't see any typos, but every time I tried to read the story just for them, I got sucked into the story and forgot to look!

Post more soon!

Wow. Another great chapter! The board are buttholes, by the way. I hope they all get the comeuppance they deserve! Tom is a poor fellow, stuck in the bureaucracy, just a cog in the machine. You really write in a way I can feel his frustration and his desire to help others.

This is a fabulous action chapter - a departure from your usual slow build up. Both work, but I like the action. Itbetter serves the story, and helps us get into Tom's head right off the bat. You've done very well with the internal monologue here, not slathering it on too thickly, and you've balanced it well with the details of the hospital. This is a good start, and it promises a lot of exciting things.

Onto the next chapter!

Hey! This reads real well... the only standout to me was the usage of the word "catharsis" which is a purging of emotions which doesn't quite fit in here He forcefully pulled himself out of his catharsis, knowing that he…that she had no time for that.

I'm not really sure what *would* fit unfortunately, but I'll see what I can come up with for you, if you want. Just contact me on DA if you need help with it ^_^

Man I was chewing my thumbnail for the girl though! Very well done.

Excellent hook. I'm excited to read more. A couple notes, although these are all only for chapter 1:

1. Occasionally you repeat yourself unnecessarily. I.e. "having just appeared from one of the larger rooms. The room could handle ten patients at the same time." This could easily be reassembled into "having just appeared from one of the larger room that could handle ten patients at a time." I'd suggest reading it over, and anyplace where you repeat the same phrase/word in such a close space should probably be consolidated into one sentence.

2. "dishwater blond" is an odd, to say the least, color for hair, at least in my opinion.

3. While I appreciate the description of his personality, I'm not a big fan of relating everything to his love life; I think it sounds a bit like a cheesy romance or a soap opera. A sentence or two describing his ability to "get women but not keep them" is interesting; two whole paragraphs is definitely pushing the reader's limit.

Excellent work on the medical description; I felt it was enough to get a sense of the urgency and seriousness of the situation without bogging the reader down in technical detail. It also made my skin absolutely crawl, which I'm sure is a reaction you were hoping to get. Good job on this. Keep writing!

Hey there! See, I'm leaving a review as promised! :) I'm gonna just jump right in, k?

[Steps echoed down the eerie and nearly deserted hall, as a few nurses and interns moved about the floor] I don't think a comma is needed here. In fact, you have commas before phrases starting with as several times in the first few paragraphs. I'm not sure they're needed, unless there's some grammar rule I'm missing. (which is, of course, entirely possible!)

[The height might have been handsome, had he possessed heavier musculature to even out his stature] Again, an odd comma placement...it just reads oddly to me, like the pause is in the wrong place.

[dealing with the aftermath of the Saturday night binges, the domestic disputes, and the gang shootings] I'd remove the last two "the"s.

[0600 to 1900] Holy crap, that is a long shift! Yikes, poor Tom!

[blood matted] I'd hypenate this...I kept thinking you left out the noun, then realized you were talking about her hair.

[there was going to be damaged] Should be "damage".

[note pads] I'm pretty sure notepads is a compound noun.

Ok, I know I'm being nitpicky, but that's 'cause I know you can handle it! :-D I really liked it. You captured the urgency of the emergency and Tom's despondency at his patient's chance for recovery. Good work! :)