FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Breakdancing Ninja 2007-03-16 ch 1, anon. | abuseA response: A title like "SUICIDE" is way too overt, and the poem itself relies too much on the title for meaning. A title should provide an interpretation or a confirmation of an image, but I shouldn't have to rely on the title to understand what is going on. There is barely any imagery, motive, psychological inference coloring of words, or even a metaphor. Even a suicidal rant will provide some type of motive, image or thoughtful word choice that indicates to me that the poem understands its own feelings and meaning. I would have to stretch to say that the tree means something or that the "you" figure means something. In the Lenten spirit, I might lean toward us crucifying Jesus, but that interpretation has no backbone because I can't provide enough from the poem to prove that. I have no sense that you're digging deep into the image or meaning of this poem, which lends to its superficiality. Try re-writing this, if you have the time and the patience. |
| psychotic aiba lover 2007-03-15 ch 1,  | abusewoah...someone feels depressed...? :) |
| blackrosemint 2007-03-15 ch 1, | abusedepressing but for some reason im having 'florante at laura' flashbacks after reading this :D |
| The Breakdancing Ninja 2007-03-15 ch 1, | abuseGah! This could have easily been compressed into three to four lines; it has an unimaginative title and does little in the way of providing meat in its content! |