FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Athnyha 2007-03-15 ch 1,   | Wow. Very descriptive, it feels like I'm really there. The only thing I would reword is "but the air is hot". The 'but' sounded a bit out of place. Loved it, thanks for the great writing! ^_^ |
| Moondog Dozier 2007-03-15 ch 1, | Marvelously visual and descriptive. This not only captures the landscape, but the emotions of the speaker as the scene progresses. Excellent use of relevant mythology to enhance the vividry. Well written. |
| as beauty dies 2007-03-15 ch 1, | Your allusions to Greek myth are what had me. Hook, line and sinker. Of course, along with the style. I love that too; quite a lot, actually. I adore the last line to pieces--it's perfect (the whole piece, that line). Lovely. - as beauty dies |