this is gritty, and passionate.
and real.

and i really like it.

i wub this.
it's really interesting and it made me think a lot

i don't know what to make of this. it's so fascinating, like delving into someone's mind and not really coming back by the end of the piece...and kind of not wanting to come back. just...wow.

I intended to review your longer piece, which i have read, but i couldn't actually get my mind to review it, and i prefer leaving reviews which do not reek of utter stupidity (or mindlessness)...so i settled for this piece.

I think that the coolest part of this thing was where she goes "at this starbucks that isn't really near the beach", i was like, aw, she lied to me.

I think that there are two levels working on this short piece, you've got the narrator who doesn't really have a normal life (her school, behavior) but then she's doing something that is totally teenagery like checking out a guy (but her reaction is weird) and going to starbucks.
I find this throws me, as a reader, unless you're making fun of the "normal" things she's doing.
I think you could take the lying to a whole other level. The character has the potential to be really out there on her own. Gah, hopefully you get what i mean...(oh, about your other story...lol, i find it very angsty, but it is a fun-ish read).

wow, this is really well written. it's full of anger and frustration, but also with a kind of acceptance. like that 'adopted lying girl' doesn't want to change, just wants someone to notice what she's going through.

congratulations!