Started to get creepy at the end of the third line. It totally gave me the chills. "They stand and grimace and sneer at my stupidity" is a great line :)

Wow, gory!! Cool though. Is there more? I'm like, totally freaked out by this, great job!

It's an interesting idea, the question is was there, is there more is is that it? You can find a lot of good starts from something like this.