Reviews for The Miner's Choice

Reviews For: The Miner's Choice

Tatianolishka 2008-07-20 ch 1,	abuseStoryline awesome, description great, flowed nice and you kept you people in char. I noticed that your "fight" scene was very brief and not highly detailed, which disappointed me slightly. Other than that, pretty good. And so sorry for not reviewing earlier... I has the dumb. x.x
StarGirl5000 2007-09-26 ch 1,	abuseIt’s a good story. You have good, detailed descriptions, however I think you could have put more time in overall descriptions of the landscape, characters and atmosphere. Details are great, but I think it’s best to have an over all atmosphere and then use the details to support it. For example, “The land was austere. Flat, brown fields of dead grass stretched endlessly on, meeting the dismal grey of the low, cloudy sky, at a dim horizon. All was empty, hard and unfeeling.” In this quote it starts with a general description and then supports it with details. I think doing this will help you create an atmosphere. I thought your description of the desert struggle was the best. “He trudged onward not really caring where he would end up as long as he was out the sand sprinkled hell that lay before him. The hot sand began to burn his feet with no remorse as the soles of his Italian made boots became nothing but flaps. An orange sun slowly began to case away the moonlit night and James began to search for a new source of shade. He sank to his weak knees because he could go no further.” I especially like “the sand sprinkled hell that lay before him” I think that really evokes images and an atmosphere. I also agree with Mad Mistress of Death. You jump around a lot and it makes it confusing. Thanks for writing a great story and sharing it with us. ~Star
Scottish Princess 2007-09-23 ch 1,	abuseWow! Really good story! I LOVED it! You've really got talent there. The only issues that I could see was spelling/grammar mistakes, but nothing big. Like 'fowl' instead of 'foul'. Just little things like that that are easy to fix. Excellent job overall, though! I'll have to go check out the rest of your stories now. ~Anna I'd be honoured if you'd take the time to read my stories and give me any input you may have.
Mad Mistress of Death 2007-05-02 ch 1,	abuseGood describtive writing, and the story sounds interesting too. But your paragraphs could be a little longer, and you jump around some, Like at the end "a voice called him back" and then he was at the dumpsters, so I knew what was happening but kinda got confused on how he got there.
Octello 2007-04-08 ch 1,	abuseThat was the most awsome story I have read this month. Great job!

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