Reviews for I'm Waiting - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: I'm Waiting

Twilight Starr 2007-11-08 ch 1,	Cute poem. ^^ ~Twilight Starr~
X.xPrincess.Midnightx.X 2007-10-11 ch 1,	I thought this was cute ^^ I hope you found him, this has to be reasonable standards, lol Totally made me smile and think about how I found mine with some of these standards. This inspires me to do one of these myself! Great work!
C.F. Anne 2007-09-08 ch 1,	I love how this poem is so "real" and something so many of us teens can relate to. This kind of thing could easily become a little lame but I can say that it isn't. It's just a great blend of heart and the poetic nature. It flows nicely, and it is great to find some other people who are truly waiting for that destined mate.
Morgan 2007-07-28 ch 1,	i really really like this! a lot! thanks for reviewing my stories as well (my penname is Ashlyn Bloom, haha. made it up :) )
LeilaX 2007-05-21 ch 1,	Just read one of you're earlier poems. A couple of things that I'd like to mention. What I liked: The repetition of 'I'm waiting,'through the poem which enforced the idea of the narrator waiting for her 'dream guy.' It cements the subject matter of this particular poem. The last line ending with 'I'm waiting for him,' was a good way to let the reader know just what it is the narrator is waiting for and concludes the poem well. I also liked the repetitive use of 'that one boy,' again it followed the theme of this poem and tied in nicely with the subject matter of a girl's fantasy. What I didn't like: What I would urge you to do is break up your poem with stanzas rather than one big block, I know this is difficult on FP from experience but there are ways of getting around it. I think you made a good attempt at it but I couldn't really relate to it because of the tone of the poem. While the subject matter may be light hearted, I felt that the words didn't really make me connect with the poem and there was a lack of maturity in the contents. The emotions just seemed watered down. But all in all I think this is a good base and a learning curve, I personally think that poetry is more difficult than writing a story because you can't babble nonsense and your words have to be to the point, so good job on getting your thoughts on writing. Leila (reviewers_found)
its.Nothing.Special 2007-05-17 ch 1,	LOL. That was so cute. :DD [I’m Waiting,/For that one boy,/The one who sees [me] at my very best,And at my very worst] nods I liked those lines. Simple, but mature. [Who grabs my hand, in front of all his friends,/And yells,/"This is MY girl,"] Hahaha, I'd probably smack 'im if he said that. Kind of that "I'm not your property, you turd" philosophy. :) Still sweet, though. I've always liked green eyes. :) ;)becky
rainluff 2007-05-10 ch 1,	Wow:)) That was cute! Short and simple but it really touched my heart^^. AND I lurved the last line: "Now, is he really out there?" Lovely fic.
Lady DreamWriter 2007-05-02 ch 1,	I think your writing style is simple, yet gets to the heart of the matter. You've touched upon something that every person, regaurdless of gender, wants in their life. Though don't get caught up in looks, because that's how you miss what's right in front of you. Great job and I can't wait to read more from you!
Ashter 2007-04-20 ch 1,	This made me smile. Now, is there really a boy as perfect as him of whom you write? I certainly hope so.
drippingdreams 2007-03-27 ch 1,	Cute, kind of simple, easy to relate to. Except I never wanted a blonde-haired-blue-eyed one. I always wanted one with red or black hair and exotic eyes. Haha. I wanted one that spoke a different language and wrote phenomenal music. I noticed a little typo: "The one who sees my at my very best" should be "the one who sees ME". It's kind of weird, the way you used capital letters in the last line reminded me of... something biblical. Because, you know how in the Christian Bible, a capital Him usually refers to Jesus or God... I don't know, I just thought that was interesting. I don't know if you meant those connotations or not, but the implications are quite astounding. Okay, my musings are odd. I'll stop now. Thanks for the R&R on Wishing in Tunnels.
purplepants 2007-03-20 ch 1,	blunt, true, though not extremely poetic. try using a metaphor, it might capture more intrest. nice.
XxPopRockAddictxX 2007-03-20 ch 1,	Well, I personally am a fan of green eyes, but I loved it anyway. It's something everygirl wants, especaily the part about him admitting he likes you infront of his friends, lol, thtas great.
SirScott 2007-03-19 ch 1,	I think blonds are overrated. I guess that is what most girls want, except for those girls who likes other girls and they wouldn't want a boy. ~SirScott
Written In Stone 2007-03-18 ch 1,	yup i do believe that is what most of us want. finding one is the trick. good luck though :) wonderful work!
whispered something profoun... 2007-03-18 ch 1,	Well, if this is any reflection of your life, I hope that you find you blonde haired, blue eyed wonder boy. As for me, I have mine, but he's a brown haired browned eyed brown skinned kind of amazing. But I completely agree with the rest of the poem, the whole grab my hand and yell :She's MINE!" type thing. It's what everyone wants.

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