 Tyanna 2007-03-18 . chapter 1Intresting beginning. I rather enjoyed it.
One thing that I would suggest, put your tale about Arish as the prologue only, then have chapter one start with your battle. That tale seems rather out of place there at the end of the chapter. There was no lead into it...and I think it would have done better as the first thing the user reads :)
Keep up the good work :) |