Reviews for Gypsy's Magik - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Gypsy's Magik

Carmel March 2007-06-21 ch 9,	Great chapter. I loved that last line :D Ugh, I've got finals, too. Good luck on yours! ~carm~
Rogue-writer-16 2007-06-05 ch 8,	I am definately putting this on my alert list. I loved this story. I haven't read a descent fantasy-ish story in a while. There were a couple of gramatical errors but nothing big. I really do love this story and can't wait for the next chapter so keep writing. Please! C ya. RW
Carmel March 2007-05-09 ch 8,	Fantastic story so far. I love the way the characters interact with each other; it's very believable, very well done. Good job on this, and I can't wait for more. No rush, though, I know exactly what you mean by school limiting the amount of updates :) ~carm~
Estelin 2007-04-26 ch 7,	this story is great keep up the good work. i can't wait for more
feeder 2007-03-30 ch 1,	"She’d been riding for several days, nonstop" - in that case I think she would currently be riding a corpse. Horses can't run for 3 days without stopping. "Rashmians-tribe of evil-came" - tribes consist of a lot of people... so every single Rashmian is evil? This makes your protagonist sound like a racist. It's like saying all Germans are evil because of what the Nazis did or something. "husbands are sleeping with all of their other fifteen women" - is this supposed to be proof of how evil they are? I have no sympathy with your character. Just because she doesn't like it, doesn't automatically make it evil. "“Come Wind Rider,”" - why is she talking to her horse? And as far as I am aware, horses can't laugh, can they? I think a 'neigh' is the best it could do. "retrieved water from a nearby stream" - how exactly? Did she carry the water in her hands? Why couldn't she have just taken the horse to the stream? "There was a father, a mother, a young boy and a girl" - your character clearly has no idea how wealthy these people are, and they already have 2 children, isn't it a bit selfish to force her child on them when they may not be able to cope? And then there's the moral issues of casting magic without their knowledge/consent. Anyway, why can't she keep her daughter and just leave the country or something? I assume that you want us to sympathize with your heroine, but so far I see no reason to do so. She comes across as arrogant, selfish and prejudiced, because she seems to see herself and her problems as of great importance, whereas everyone else is apparently insignificant. I can't think of anything else, maybe those are some things to consider.
angeleyez61888 2007-03-30 ch 7,	This was a good chapter i can't wait to read more
Trikky 2007-03-27 ch 2,	Nice! I can't help but notice you've got the same nickname as your character (little fox ^^). Was that on purpose? Good imagination, I like the kids's personalities (especially Maria XD) I would read the rest, but I've got too much hw to do now, so I'll have to come back later... >.>
angeleyez61888 2007-03-20 ch 5,	This is a very well put together story. i can't wait to read more of it..
Callitha 2007-03-20 ch 1,	Interesting beginning, though this seems like a prologue rather than the first chapter. Min's relationship with Wind Rider is well-done. I can see you're still feeling out the story, writing everything that is going on inside the character's head; that's good. I suggest taking out the whole first paragraph and conveying that in different ways. You could reveal and show the reader what's going on rather than telling us, we don't have to know everything right away. Show Min riding for a while before revealing why she is riding so furiously. The bold is a bit distracting, or is that just my computer formatting it oddly? Sorry if its just my computer. I'll be reading more if I have the time. Good luck and keep writing!

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