 Bridge Ann Wall 2007-03-22 . chapter 1I can definitely see how this could turn into something much larger, of course for the purposes of your class, that's not really possible, but I really think you should work on making it into a novel or whatever when you have more time (mainly because I want to see how you think this situation would be handled). This is a really interesting story. I think it will work great in that class, although he's bound to notice that you're depressing and write a lot about terrorism. I would say that you might want to look at the fact that in the section where Lucy's thinking about how she wants her daughter to be interested in current events, you use the word "some" three times in two sentences and I found that a little distracting. I'm also not sure that the quotes from the news program need to be in italics. They work fine that way, but I don't think that it would be confusing if you didn't italicize them. (Of course, this is just my copyediting and design classes talking.) Otherwise I found that this story was just haunting in how realistic it was, and that made it great. So, yeah. That's it. I hope I managed to review this early enough that I helped you out. |