That is beautiful.

I don't even know why it is beautiful but I pictured it in my head and just had to tell you that I thought it was beautiful.

Not the whole kid getting hit by the car but... the words.

I'm going to stop.

You must have had some math teacher. This is beautiful, by the way. I want that kind of talent sometimes.

THIS TOOK MY BREATHE AWAY I WAS SEEING THIS AS I READ THIS; I FELT LIKE I SEEN THIS OCCURING IN REAL LIFE. I AM DRAWN TO YOUR WRITINGS.

Really well written and very intense. Keep up the good work.

Jeannie-Redd

...Interesting...you said you got inspired by your old math teacher, eh? Interesting...

I liked "Useless" and "That smile of death."

The middle got a bit hard to follow. And I don't like "I alone." I don't have a good reason, it just sounds bad to me, awkward.

The end got a bit choppy. I don't know if you wanted that for some effect or whatever, but I didn't like it.

I think you overused the repetition.

sometimes death is a beautiful thing, and noone can say that it is wrong. sometimes it is not.

death is a horrible thing for the people who live.

this was good. kinda somber but thoughtful.

hey...

I've read your personal profile (which I found quite amusing), and I thought I'll read some of your works.

Interesting poem.

"The smile of death" -What I have had in my mind was a more peaceful kind of smile people would have before their death if they had passed away with no pain, etc. (like a peaceful death at their bed). So this kind of smile of death is kind of disturbing in a sense for me. Especially that "perverse little smile".

Perhaps, he is dying peacefully.

This is too depressing for me...I do not like it no offense but I am an upbeat person. I hate poems that are about dying. Sorry.

That was very poignant and beautiful in a tragic sort of way. I love the way it flows and the end line is just perfect!

Seriously, the summary sucked me in. Then I read it and felt sorry for the train driver for feeling guilty but then I thought of the teenage boy and how...the last three lines really struck me. Amazing imagery [that's how you spell it?] and perfect representation of the thought running through the driver's mind. I wouldn't be able to live with knowing that I had helped someone commit suicide...even tho it might've relieved of any pain he might've experienced...

nevermind,

_Kari

:) I liked this. It's such a readable poem, i even ended up muttering it outloud to myself. I like the way its from the train drivers view, i don't know how you could live after seeing something like that.

thought

wow, i'm speechless. this is wonderful. i love the imagery. :)

O_o

o_O

...It swept me away.

Nice work, has a narrative feel. This is well-written, thought-provoking and expressive. All I'd say is that it feels more like prose than poetry. I would suggest using more metaphorical and euphonic language, because this piece (though nicely done in itself) feels more like a short story than verse. Well done however.

And thanks for your review. I appreciate your honesty. Oh well, it was an experiment.:)