 K.Andrews 2007-06-02 . chapter 1It's nicely written, but I would have to say most of the credit has to go to the Brothers Grimm, it is their story that really gives this poem life.
That and the line "I would not let disorder stain my home.", that's Bluebeard's character entirely. |
 Ivory Taint 2007-03-22 . chapter 1-gasp- William has written something new! Stop the press! :p
Honestly, this wasn’t my favorite work of yours. It was straightforward, clear, and focused. And definitely well written. As always, your effort is apparent in your work. But nothing really seemed to stand out about it.
It didn’t appear to have a distinct voice. I’m not speaking of the characterization. The characterization was good, almost believable (“almost” because of the fantasy storyline.) It’s just that, in this piece, you didn’t put your own flavor into it—I feel like I could have read that from any decent writer. And I know you are more than a “decent” writer. Decent writers in my mind are those who can write well, but have no knowledge of how to enthrall the reader. They have the ability to write with their heads, but not with their hearts. Great writers are those who go beyond writing well, luring their readers with every page turn, captivating their souls with every word. When you read the work of a great reader, you can feel them in it. You can sense the avid enthusiasm that spilled effortlessly outside of them. And you know there was, in fact, a distinct purpose for what they composed. For you feel it. It’s hard to explain, but I believe you’ll understand.
I know you have much more in you than this; I’ve read some wonderful works of yours. You have a remarkable talent and the potential to be a truly great writer. The trouble is you hold back too much. You focus so much on the eloquence that the meaning gets lost (this also happened in your poem “A Long Forgotten Kingdom.”). I would advise you to relax, let go of your perfectionist ways, and just write. You have the flow, the rich vocabulary, the ability to hold the reader’s interest (i.e. “Calling Your Name.”) Now relax. Let yourself loose. You may be surprised at what you can accomplish. |